Many times I find myself doing something to alienate someone or screw up a situation or whatever. It always seems like an accident, and I find myself wondering, ‘Why did I do/say that? What’s my problem?’ I realized perhaps I do it subconsciously to self-sabotage myself. I find myself in a rut, and the only way out is to make the situation go from neutral to bad to shake me out of my comfort zone and force myself to find something different, move on, etc. Or maybe it is an accident, and it just happens because I become too comfortable, in which case it’s almost the same. No matter what the reason, I create a need for change, so maybe what I do is not so bad. Sometimes I forget to change or stay on guard, but I always get a reminder, and it’s usually bad, but it’s a blessing in disguise.