Even though I work at a coffee shop, I don’t really drink coffee. In fact, I don’t consume caffeine or sugar. Today for some reason I decided to. One of my coworkers made a drink for us to sample, and against my better judgment, I decided to try it. It was made up of milk (don’t drink milk), syrup (don’t eat sugar), protein powder (again with the dairy), and espresso (caffeine bleh). I only took a couple of sips, but it still made me a little hyper. Then she decided a few hours later to do a coffee tasting and prepared a whole French press of coffee. One sip wouldn’t hurt. It was ok. It tasted like coffee. There was about a cupful left, and I decided it would be a great idea to drink the rest of it. Well, I just went nuts, and now I think my coworkers think I’m insane. My manager kept going, “Don’t ever give her caffeine again!”

I kind of act the same hyped up on caffeine as I do when I’m drunk except my speech doesn’t slur, but I’m just as chatty, everything cracks me up, and I’m all over the place. I’m still pretty jittery, and I had finished that coffee hours ago. Caffeine is definitely a drug…and I’m paid to dish that shit out to the masses. Nice.